New wire headbands!
April 7, 2018
Cat Fest London 2018
July 25, 2018

All in the same boat


I’ve decided to open up and write about some of the struggles I’ve faced so far this year and things I’ve been doing to help me overcome them! We’re all human and we all struggle, so why not tell people about it who may feel the same? We all need and want to connect with people don’t we?
So, many of you will probably relate to this post. Everyday struggles can seem trivial, but at the time they are anything but! I’ve had a tough start to the year because I am too hard on myself. That is what it all boils down to. Instead of seeing how far I’ve come and how well I’m doing, I always focus on what’s not going right and what I haven’t done. Sound familiar?
It’s extremely hard sometimes to admit that you’re not doing so good. That you’re not OK. I rarely mention my problems to anyone but I think it’s important to share and to not keep everything in. What we do has a massive impact on others, even if we don’t realise it. So if by writing this blog makes just one person feel a little better about themselves then I’ll be happy! We are all so afraid to say what’s really on our minds.
This year I have personally decided to do better! With my business, my fitness and general health. Hitting 30 made me think of all the things that I thought I would have achieved or had by now. We all feel pressure to please others. I would love to have moved out of my parents and be settled somewhere with my boyfriend but it just hasn’t been that simple. But that’s OK! I have had far too much time to think with the quiet start to the year. Less sales means more procrastinating!
I have taken up running this year which is proving great for my mental health as well as physically. I am pushing myself to hit targets I never thought I could and it’s surprising what you can do when you put your mind to it! For anyone who wants to try it as a total newbie like me, I would recommend the couch to 5k app. It is fantastic! I completed my first 20 minute run today and I am so proud of myself! Considering in January I would be so out of breath running for the bus!
Regarding my business I am trying my best to be more ‘business minded’ this year. Yes I am creative, Yes I would rather be designing or making something than working on selling/marketing but at the same time I want my business to be a success. For the whole 5 years of on and off trading I have been learning as I go. There is nothing wrong with that, all small businesses wing it! But If I want to progress then I need to step out of my comfort zone and do something about it. I am currently on a business course with Allia, a company who are offering free support to small business. This is a massive change for me and hard for me to take it every session!
I have always been anxious about learning new things, I automatically think I’m too stupid and I shut down If I don’t understand something. I don’t ask questions. The more pressure I feel, the worse I get. Sometimes even phoning somebody or the thought of it can put me in a panic! But I’m so glad that I am accepting some help with my business and not just sitting in my bedroom thinking what if. If you want something in life, you really do need to go out and get it!
So overall this year and hopefully from now onwards I am going to stop thinking that I am not as good as everyone else, stop comparing myself to others who have fabulous instagram feeds and lots of followers and just focus on my own business. For my personal life I am going to be kinder to myself too, stop thinking I am fat, stop thinking I have bad skin and crap hair and just accept who I am! Because there is only 1 of me and I am lucky to be here.
I will continue listening to happy songs, running/exercising to help my IBS and try not to stress half as much! I hope to look back on this next year and wonder what I was worried about and stressing over! Who cares if I’m 30 with no money and cats for children?! I am grateful for everything I have and that is what is important. I am enough…
Nikky x





  1. Sarah says:

    This helped! Thank you for being so honest. Also I’m turning 30 this year and have some self esteem/anxiety issues so it weirdly felt like it’s future was me who wrote it . Anyways Im jealous of your cats for children 😹 can’t have animals in my rented flat #lame

    • nicolabox says:

      I am so glad that it helped! Turning 30 is to be celebrated and I had such a great Birthday to remember! But it is difficult not to think about what you thought you would have done by that age. Society makes you think that way! Haha aww my cats are my world! I would be so sad with no animals, I’ve always had them around. Hopefully you can too one day! 🙂

  2. Olivia says:

    Hey, I’m over 30, with a cat from hell as a child and at the moment so overworked and knackered I occasionally wonder what am I doing with life. Every year new grads joining the company make me question myself, why am I going nowhere with my career, why are these kids getting younger!!? I chatted with my animator friend the other day and he said he spent 2 weeks animating an elbow and cannot get it right… but is that going to be his deathbed regret? Made me laugh but how crazy are our hang-ups!? I have all sorts of admiration for creative people as I have zero creativity haha – keep doing what you’re doing, I LOVE your stuff! You’re awesome and oh my god I’ll make sure you are business-minded with me for your next Kickstarter!!!! x

    • nicolabox says:

      Hahaha this made me giggle! I don’t know why we all worry so much! It’s half the reason I wrote this… to realise how silly I sound and how trivial my problems are! I’m very lucky to have the life that I do have! Two weeks animating and elbow would kill me lol! I hated animation, stop motion is cool but still a lot of work! Thanks so much for your kind words, I have too much planned but no time to get it all out there!! <3

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