SCRIBBLER!
October 14, 2019

New year, new mindset.

Happy New Year!!

I am walking into 2020 with a positive mental attitude. I vow to love myself to the best of my ability and to stop apologising for absolutely nothing.

My mind has always been set on self destruct. Worrying about everything, never feeling good enough etc. I’m sure if you’re reading this then you’ve been there too. But over the past couple of years I feel I have become a hell of a lot more confident and less negative about myself. So for 2020 I really want to work on this with baby steps each day.

We don’t need resolutions, but there is nothing wrong with a little needed self improvement for a January boost instead of blues! So If I cancel plans for feeling unwell, I won’t apologise for not being up to it and worry about what that person thinks, I’ll simply tell them I am not my best self and that I will see them soon! True friendships will still be around.

Let’s celebrate the fact we are around to see another year! If you’re not in the best place then 2020 could be where everything turns around. I truly believe that if you want something and you believe in it enough, you’ll make it happen. There are many things I would love to happen in 2020 such as moving out, getting a greeting card publisher and more.

2019 Was both amazing and challenging. Like every year, it had it’s ups and it’s downs. One thing that was a constant test last year was my health. I did everything I could and invested a lot of money into myself. However, I learned what I have is chronic and I have come to accept that. That doesn’t mean I’ll give up fighting for wellness or answers. Instead I have put lots of my pain into my work and lots of you have related to it. I couldn’t be happier and I feel so much less alone.

I have a very busy January already and when you don’t know how you’re going to feel from one day to the next, it can be scary and cause anxiety. But I refuse to let it beat me… Until I need a nap of course. I have more tests coming up so I am hopeful for those. But it hasn’t all been doom and gloom at all. I have had some of the best and memorable times to date with incredible friends and my partner who I am unbelievably grateful for.

 Some of the ups and downs included:

  • Meeting my friends beautiful baby girl
  • Watching my friend go through a debilitating breakdown
  • Scribbler stocking my designs
  • My partner being too close for comfort in the London Bridge terrorist attack in November
  • Breaks away to Rye and Butlins with my boy and many outings with my besties!

There are so many more I could mention but you get the points. See what I did there? 2020 Will have lots more in store for me I’m sure.

The main thing I will take away from 2019 is that I am strong. I have lots thrown at me and always get back up and make myself proud. I never used to accept my friends or even people in general telling me I was strong or an inspiration. It’s still strange for me to hear but if I can influence someone’s life in a good way by sharing my experiences then I will always try and do so. Thank you to each and everyone of you who supported me in 2019 and made my life full of sunshine and rainbows. Knowing I have followers/friends who actually care about my well being, opinions etc had made me realise I do have a purpose. So I will continue to look after myself by cooking fresh meals, taking all my meds, and napping when I need to, all so that I can bring you more doodles and my voice if you want to listen.

I literally love you all so much! <3

Nikky x

2 Comments

  1. Cass Terry says:

    Super strong lady 💪

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